My absence

I haven't written much on this blog lately. It's certainly not that my life doesn't provide plenty of blog juice, I could fill a book. It's more about the lack of time I seem to have these days. My blog focus has shifted to our homeschool blog and the cloth diaper blog.

A couple of weeks ago I made this blog private. After many emails wondering what had happened and requests to be a reader I have decided to make it public again. Many of the emails were thanking me for bringing to light many topics that helped other moms. The main one being car seat safety. I think it's time for another one of those :)

So, "Welcome back, Me!"

Wordless Wednesday

Dentists really suck

Of course it's not their fault that they suck. I mean they wouldn't be any different than going to the eye doctor or chiropractor if I had take proper care of my teeth.

Because of my neglect in keeping up w/ 6mo cleanings (heck 1yr cleanings would have been nice) and my over indulgence in sweets I racked up quite the treatment plan.

Yesterday I began the journey to healthy teeth by having the entire right side of my mouth fixed. 2 mercury amalgams removed and a few cavities filled. Lovely.

We chose to go to a holistic dentist because everything else in our life is done in a more natural way. The precautions they take when removing mercury is top-notch. Not to mention the chelation supplements I was taking.

So why do dentists suck?

Because today I have horrendous headache, I can't open my mouth all the way and I am so freaking exhausted.

The headache I'm sure is from the anaesthesia. My inability to open my mouth is from those dang needles. My muscles are too sore to move.

Oh and I'm starving (main contributor to the exhaustion problem). I nibbled on some beef and rice last night. This morning a few bites of scrambled eggs.

Funny that the thing that causes you the most lingering pain is the very thing that keeps you from feeling pain when they're drilling a hole in your head...okay tooth.

The upside is I'm not yelling at my kids. But I'm sure I'm doing more harm with my depressing demeanor.

I do appreciate my positivity though as I repeat over and over "it will get better."

Huge praises are in order though for our most awesome Father! Yesterday I prayed many specific prayers and ALL were answered right away!!

I asked the Lord to carry my burdens and take away my anxiety right before the procedure. Done. As they put the shots in I was very relaxed.

I asked the Lord to protect Sterling as he had to drink pumped breastmilk for an extended period of time. I was so worried about him but he did great! It was a glorious moment when he finally woke up in the middle of the night and I nursed him.

God was so good that Sterling had the best night of his 11 1/2 wk life!

Without the hope and love our Heavenly Father provides I don't know how I'd make it through this crazy life.

Not frustrated...as much

Still can't figure out the picture enigma but I have a friend who might be able to help.

I have spent the last hour (or more) playing with code and have settled upon a few changes.

Michael still wants to know why I am spending this much time on this blog when it makes me no money. Umm, because it's fun. I don't have as much fun working on my cloth diaper blog because it's more of a job. Plus, if I ever screwed something up on it I'd be in big trouble.

That's all I'm writing on blog design promise.

I went to bed frustrated

I am never content with this blog. I like to change the background, the colors, the picture. It always bugged me that there was never a 3-column template.

So last night I googled 3-column blogger templates, found one I liked, and changed my html.

All was fine until I realized that I could no longer get my picture to show up in the header. Even when I reverted back to my original blogger 2-column the picture wouldn't show up.

Over and over I tried and retried to fix the dang thing. BAH!! So annoying.

Alas, I now have a blog with no cute kids greeting you as you arrive. I'm sure there are a million and one people who could fix it. But with my constant changing I'd probably just mess it up the next time I felt like something new.

The whole messed up blog thing even distracted me from watching my favorite show! I only caught bits and pieces of The Mentalist...enough to have me dreaming about Red John.

It was quite hilarious really. I grabbed Red John, pulled him in the car (that I was riding in with Jane), and told Jane to hurry up and do whatever he wanted to do with him. Jane was taking too long to pull the car over so I start punching Red John..???

It was that frustration. I was taking it out on a fictional murderer. Add to the frustration the caffeine I had at 7pm and you have a crazy mind.

So hope you like the blog design and if you don't check back next week.

Who is your all-time favorite singer??

First, I'll give a shout out to my very close second favorite singer- Johnny Cash. His voice immediately changes my body chemistry. I slip into a more relaxed attitude. I especially love anything he sings with his wife June. And I even love the movie Walk the Line :D

Okay so the big winner, the singer that should top everyone's list, the only man besides my husband that I openly say is "hot", drumroll please...

BON JOVI

Yes, since 198? I have been a die-hard Bon Jovi fan. And he just keeps kickin out the songs! Michael likes to send me YouTube videos (most of which I never watch b/c I hate watching things on line) and today's video was Bon Jovi's Make A Memory.

I mean who can honestly say when they hear Bon Jovi they don't transport into some other state. If I'm about ready to strangle a little person or 4-legged creature and "It's My Life" comes on I suddenly become the cool mom.

For my benefit I'm going to post a couple of Bon Jovi videos..

Beer and Breastfeeding

I love beer. Funny. I just said I "love" beer. Maybe love is too strong a word. Probably not though. It's not just the beverage I enjoy but all that goes along with it.

Relaxing on a hot day. Kickin' back with my best friend in the whole universe, my husband. Grilling out back in our gorgeous back yard while the kids bug play around us. Ending the day with a movie and beer next to the most handsome man in the world, my husband.

It's so much more than just a drink to quench my thirst. And I really don't care to have that discussion non-beer drinkers try to have with me... "won't a glass of tea work just as well?"

Sure but I also like the taste of a good dark beer or even a Miller Chill.

So what does beer have to do with breastfeeding. Beer is a galactagogue. That means it enhances the milk production. I've had a nice curvy figure over the last week. Compound that with Sterling's longer stretches of sleep at night and my boobies are full.

I'm sure my readership of 5 has now dropped to 2 after this post and yesterday's lol. But that's OK! I don't journal so here it is ;)

Stay tuned for more tantalizing posts...

Tantrum Tuesday

You'd think it was my 2 year old or maybe even my 4 year old that inspired the title...but no it was me. Yes at 32 I can apparently still throw one heck of a temper tantrum.

Thankfully, it was short lived but come on how embarrassing is it to have to apologize to your 7 year old for being a jerk?!

And what monumental event led to this tantrum? A dirty house. I can't seem to get back into the swing of things like I was before Sterling's birth. No my house isn't filthy and it isn't cluttered. But, when you have Enchanted Rock of Laundry sitting on your living room chair along with 8 billion toys around the house one is bound to blow a gasket.

What is quite amusing is that God never left my side through all this. Where I might hide if my child threw a tantrum in front of people, God remains faithful. He is so good that the precious lady that brought dinner for us tonight had some humbling words for me.

She said what I've heard dozens of times before--"before you know it your kids will be grown and gone. Don't waste precious time fretting about housework when you could be enjoying your children."

Talk about wanting to crawl under a rock! I did change my attitude after that though. Thank you, God :D

The night ended with a family fishing trip. Michael caught 2 fish while me and the kids enjoyed the squirrels, ducks, bull frogs and the gorgeous weather.

Girl's Night Out

Man could I get used to not cooking! Last night I went to my first Girl's Night Out as a married woman. I know...I am so sheltered.

My mom, sisters Riley and Samantha, my sister-in-law Brittani, and my beautiful big girl Haley went to BJ's. It was heavenly. Because I don't get to go there often I stick to my stand-by the Great White pizza. I would hate to try something new and it not be as good as the Great White.

And if that wasn't enough to engorge my walnut sized stomach (thanks to the 35 week baby floating high in my uterus), I topped it all off with a double chocolate pazookie with chocolate ice cream. You won't have ever caught me saying something was too rich...until I ate that! But it didn't stop me from almost licking the pan.

It was such a blessed time. Not just because the company was amazing but because in 5 days we will be moving. I won't be able to call the girls together and meet up at a restaurant. I will miss everyone here tremendously but I am eagerly awaiting the start of our new adventure.

Today was our last time to attend Denton Bible Church. I was emotionally detached from the parting moment until I picked Paisley up. As the 2 year old leader said "well, we'll know next time" I let her know that this was our last day at DBC. She quickly snatched Paisley back up for another squeeze and I literally fought back tears.

God was good in providing us with DBC when we moved to Krum and I know that He has a wonderful church waiting for us in Kerrville.

I have pictures from Girl's Night Out but I'll have to add those later (Michael has a billion things downloading right now *rolls eyes*).

Not SuperWoman

Apparently I had successfully deceived myself into believing that I was SuperWoman in the flesh. Today, of course, reality knocked me off my high horse.

Yesterday wasn't a terrible day with morning sickness, it was actually a little better. But last night I was kept up by the worst heartburn ever. All I could think (well besides "you have got to be kidding me!") was this is the most insane symptomatic pregnancy ever.

So I make it through the night propped up on 3 ft of pillows only to discover that the morning sickness was going to be the worst ever today. I really was at a breaking point. Here I have 3 amazing children who deserve the best and I can barely stand up straight.

I called Michael and broke down. I mean sobbing. Uncontrollable. I am so enormously blessed to have a husband willing to come home from work to take care of me.

I could handle that my husband now knew that I was not SuperWoman...who am I kidding? SuperWoman would never repeatedly leave dinner out until 10pm...he already knew that. But he was taking the kids to my mom's for the afternoon.

An awesome blessing but now my mom, dad and siblings see that I am incapable of handling it all. I feel like a loser. It is my job to watch my children yet I sucked at it today.

I am in the 9th week and praying this ends soon. Please, God?

My Loss for God's Glory

There are some things you just NEVER want to experience. The saying "ignorance is bliss" is very true.

On Wednesday my 4th pregnancy was abruptly cut short.

I honestly thought (how naive of me) that somehow I was immune to miscarriages. I had 3 easy, healthy pregnancies so the trend was set, right? Apparently that's not how it works.

As with all things in my life God uses them to grow my character. Until I reach that state of perfection **insert scratch head smilie** God will continue to turn up the heat. Although the hardest thing I have ever had to endure, it has been very humbling and enriching.

I do feel like I am closer to my Father and my character has developed. Before I could not empathize with those who had miscarried, now I can.

I'd love to share the events of Wednesday with you, both for my own recording and for your growth as well. I pray most of you have not experienced a loss and perhaps my story will enable you to comfort a friend or loved one better if they go through this pain.

In order to begin I must mention the pregnancy test. With my 3 previous pregnancies a faint positive test was all it took to tell me I was pregnant. There was no follow-up testing, no doubting. With this one, I doubted. I kept testing and testing waiting for the line to scream at me. The line continued to remain faint after many days of testing. I asked for prayer from everyone because I felt this nagging was from Satan. I prayed furiously for protection from the Lord, even asking Haley to pray for the Lord to control my thoughts. I now understand that a mother "just knows".

On Wednesday morning I got out of bed and felt a little pinch. I walked into the living room and sneezed. I laughed at the fact that my sneeze caused me to pee in my pants (so I thought) and I thought what's going to happen when I'm 8 months pregnant and sneeze?!

I went to the bathroom where my husband was shaving and sat down. Literally, shock took over. I sat there frozen, staring at the blood in my underwear.

What is this??? I thought I just peed? This can't be what I think it is? NOOO!!

Michael just wanted to know why I continued to sit frozen on the pot. He knew when the dam broke and the sobbing overtook me. My sweet husband tried to make it better. He even insisted I take a test. No use. I knew.

I didn't know what to expect but I expected to feel something. It wasn't until 10 that I did. Up until then I was so overcome with grief that Haley wondered why my eyes wouldn't open. I took homeopathic Ignatia and felt a bit better.

I began to feel sharp cramps. I went to the restroom and saw that I had passed a 1/2" of tissue.
From this point forward I truly felt like the hand of God reached down and healed the hole in my heart. I knew that this piece of tissue was the beginnings of my baby. I knew that God had control of its development. Who am I to question why or how? My mind can't even comprehend God's wisdom.

I followed my instincts and buried my baby. I was alone and it was perfect. There were no more tears.

I was most surprised at the motions my body went through during a miscarriage. I had all the same feelings that I do after I birth a full term baby. Emptiness, heaviness, bleeding, hormone surges.

Today 2 days later I am still bleeding bright red blood. It is minimal and it will probably all be over by tomorrow.

I dreamed of being with Jesus in heaven and asking him about my baby. I told him that if he wanted he could tell me someday in a dream if the baby was a boy or girl.

Well there weren't any tears until I wrote that. The tears come at the thought of being in the presence of my Saviour. How powerful!

There is always a song :) I prayed for a song that would speak to me in my time of sadness. Of course, the Lord provided.

He sees you down by the water line
knows what you thinking all the time
He sees the rising of the waves
when the tide starts rolling in he lets you know its gonna be okay

He sees you dancing in the moonlight
His arms around you hold you tight
and if those clouds should start to break
He'll be standing out in the rain with you
and though its hard to believe he beieves in you

(Chorus)
God is watching over you as always
you are loved whatever you go through
he's right beside you
god is watching over you as always
and if you think he'll ever leave you
you'd better think again

Painted in the sky a rainbow to remind you
nothing that is broken
cannot be made new
and when you feel so far away
he's gonna keep the nightlight on
he's waiting there
there to recieve you

God is watching over you as always
You are loved whenever you go ...

Through fire through wind and through rain
yesterday today and tomorrow the same
nothing there can take this love
nothing you can do can change this love
climb a tree gonna reach so high
Swing low sweet chariot
It's time to fly ...
oooh oh
and if you think he'll ever leave you
you'd better think again

God is watching over you as always
you are loved whatever you go through
he's right beside you
god is watching over you as always
and if you think he'll ever leave you
you'd better think again (X2)

Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Noise!!

Today is such a great day!

1) It feels so good outside! Just like when you go camping and wake up to a cool, breezy morning. There's a little moisture in the air but not in a crazy humid way.

2) Although I did not win a contest I entered on a blog (www.Terry Dean.org), atleast I did something no one expected of me.

3) THE MOST FANTASTIC NEWS: MY CLOTH DIAPER BLOG HAD 228 VISITS YESTERDAY!!! Isn't that awesome!

4) I am blessed. My kids are gorgeous, sweet, smart, lovable little munchkins. And now I am going to go spend some time with them.

Thanks for letting me share my excitement.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Let me tell you what a sneaky one God is. I am the last person in the world you want holding you accountable for something especially exercise. So last night when I saw my friend Misty at soccer practice what is the first thing she says to me???

"Autumn. I need help. I need a someone to hold me accountable to working out."

I respond...after 30 seconds of staring blankly at her... "oh, really? I am the worst person for that job." pause. "I suppose that is why God prompted you to ask me."

I really had nothing to say. Inside I was screaming:

NO GOD I DON'T WANT TO WORK OUT! ESPECIALLY NOT BEFORE SUNRISE!

But I couldn't vocalize that because God had convicted me in a big way. I know all the book stuff. I told her there were no excuses for me to give because I know what the Bible and science say... GET OUT OF BED EARLY AND DO SOMETHING! So I reluctantly tell her that I will commit to getting up at 5 AM!!! (yes that is not a typo) Monday thru Friday. Aside from not sleeping at all last night for fear that I would over sleep, this morning went extremely well. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt to jog around the track. I already had a planned playgroup at my house this morning so I feared I would not be able to stay awake. But it was great and I even forgot to drink my coffee! How funny is that!

I'm sure I'll crash soon but for now I'm basking in my runner's high.

I'm back...and I'm organized!

Wow I have been MIA since 2007! lol With the holidays, travel, soccer, school, LIFE I never made time to blog.

BUT I started the new year off right!

I saw a link on a message board for a calendar called Motivated Moms. The description was short and sweet and exactly what my life needed...ORGANIZATION!

I don't know about you but Michael would get home at 6:30 and I would feel like I did a whole lot ALL day and didn't have much to show for it. Of course I would just blame it on 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat for messing it all up.

So I immediately bought one of the calenders and began using it and holy cow I about cried. (I know no mom out there can relate to my old undisciplined, unorganized ways.)

Not only did my house look clean, it smelled clean AND Haley was eagerly participating in the chores! She loves a to-do list and what I had been trying to do for the past 2 years was solved in 5 minutes. She now has a list of daily chores that she completes at the start of her day with no complaining. (Yes I am over here doing a happy dance!)

I still have my playgroups and stay way to long at my mom's house but with my planner laying on my kitchen cabinet (open for all to see and admire) I have a plan and that makes me feel successful!

Anyways, here are some things in the page-per-day w/ bible verses planner (you can choose from a few different ones depending on what you like):

• Daily chores that are done every day (ex. load/empty/run dishwasher, sweep kitchen, feed animals, clean sinks, exercise-ok so this one is going to burn a hole in my conscience until I actually can check it off-, plan/cook dinner...)
  
• List of chores specific to that day (ex. on monday I may mop the kitchen, tuesday dust the living room, wednesday scrup the toilets...)
• Daily Bible verses
• Hourly schedule
• Daily menu box
• Notes section

For me this has helped me get one step closer to being the Proverbs 31 wife I am continually striving to be. To buy a planner for yourself Click here

Tagged

Thanks for the tag, Britt! I feel loved. I, unfortunately, don't know anyone else who blogs so I fear this will not progress past me.

The Rules:
1. Post the rules
2. List 8 random facts or habits about yourself.
3. If you are tagged, then you must Post the rules and list 8 random facts or habits about yourself.
4. After you post, tag people and let them know they must read your blog for the rules.

1) I love, love, love to vacuum. We (my brother Chris who is also obsessed) blame our Dad fully for this mutated gene. It has so overtaken my cerebral cortex that I am unable to go to other people's houses without literally having an anxiety attack (thank God for Rescue Remedy!!).
2) I cannot get enough of birth. I love giving birth and reading birth stories. Thinking of going into labor gets me excited even as I type this. Of course I need to clarify that not all births interest me. I am a homebirth freak (:D) so those and any other natural ones I gravitate towards.
3) I eat sweets daily. Brownies, cookies, chocolate, cake, candy.... It's pitifully disgusting.
4) I serve my husband and submit to him as the Bible commands...I am a work in progress.
5) I am lazy (when I am not vacuuming). I could sit at the computer and junk food without much bribeing.
6) I have been a student for 25 years straight (**blush**). My current projects are a Doctor of Naturopathy and La Leche League leadership. Both ***should*** be completed by the end of the year ( ;) this can be edited).
7) I sweat all the time and I am just going to say it since my children and husband not so lovingly tell me, I have random hairs on my chinny chin chin.
8) I struggle with being content and as God showed me yesterday, pride as well.

Have a great week.
Tag Your it: I don't know anyone that blogs besides Brittani, LOL!